Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Now back to our regularly scheduled program...


I'm Jessie.

I enjoy long walks on the beach at sunset.

I am more of a cat person than a dog person.

I like beer.

and wine.

If it's got alcohol in it? I'm all over it.

I am a blog slacker.

I don't know where the time has gone since we got back from "vacation". Not that you could really call it a vacation when I was on the phone with my office EVERY SINGLE DAY at least THREE times a day. Oi. The place fell down around their ears without me. Nice to be needed yada yada yada. Anyway, there is something about coming back that always sends me into depression. I don't know why. I can feel myself start to slip. The headaches start. The waves start crashing in my brain. I withdraw from everyone. I know it. I feel it. But I am powerless to stop it. Why is that? What is so inherently wrong with my mind that I cannot control how I feel? It feels like I am drowning sometimes. The water overcomes me and I just watch. It doesn't matter enough to me to paddle.

But I'm coming out of it now. The headache left last night. My sense of humor is back today. I wanted to listen to more upbeat music this morning. I was able to get out of bed today. That's a good thing. At what point does it become more than just a little episode? At what point do I maybe do something about it? At what point is it not normal? They are happening more this year. Since March, I've drowned 4 times. Why? What is going on?

Why so many questions without answers?

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