Thursday, November 02, 2006

My heart on my sleeve

My boys
Originally uploaded by jesslee23.
I had always been told that when you have kids, it's like having your heart walk around outside of your body. I never believed that. I always thought that I would love my children like I loved everyone else in my life...somewhat detached.

Boy, was I wrong.

I was so wounded that my heart was frozen. I had been so hurt by people that were supposed to take care of me that I had chosen to close off pieces of myself. When Teenage Boy came into my life, the walls crumbled. And when Little Boy was born, they turned into concrete dust.

I love Teenage Boy's heart. He cares for people so deeply that if someone is hurting, he hurts.
I love his wit. His sense of humor. His smart alec-ness.

I love Little boy's charm. He can wrap anyone around his little finger in .02.
I love his goofy self. The kind spirit. His knowledge of himself, of who he is, even at 4 years old.

I love watching them together. Little Boy reach up and pull Teenage Boy's face down to him. Placing his little chubby hands on both sides of his face and then whispering so earnestly, I love you. You're my favorite big brudder ever. Seeing Teenage Boy's face melt. Love rush into his eyes as he responds in kind.

It fills my heart when Teenage Boy comes running out of his school just because he wants to show Little Boy off to his friends.

These boys are my everything. They made me whole with their love for each other and as long as they have that, nothing can stop them.

Happy Love Thursday, everyone. Go here to find more links.


cnedaria said...

What a great post. I always have had trouble putting in to words the feelings I have towards my boys--I too have always been somewhat detached from the world. Until those walls crumbled down. Both wonderful and terribly scary. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Thanks for sharing your beautiful tribute. Happy Love Thursday!

PastorMac's Ann said...

Awww, this is such a great picture! and a wonderful tribute to these two special guys.

Happy Love Thursday. Thanks for brightening my day with some love.

shaz said...

awww, thats really special

Robin said...

I'd been meaning to come back and comment on this since I read it, something like 3 days ago. I tried yesterday morning and it kept saying they were doing maintenance or something....

What I wanted to say was....that entry made my uterus cry a little bit. I want my son to have a sibling so bad..posts like this make it clear as to why....