My pathetic beats your pathetic any day of the week.

So it's Valentine's Day. And here I sit. On my bed with my laptop on my lap. I'm eating the chocolates that I bought for myself and admiring the flowers that my big brother got for me because he felt sorry for me. Yup. Here I am, a woman who has been married for 10 years this year and I'm all by myself. Who cares, right? It's a commercial holiday that is by no means a measure of how much love someone has for you. So why do I give a rip? Why is this hard? I'm sure it has a lot to do with how close we are to the end of their trip. He'll be home on Saturday night. I'm looking forward to seeing him. I'm looking forward to him being safe again. I think I'm just done. My patience with the boys is at an all time low. I want to be a fun mom. I want to make good memories with them but it's just so hard.

I took Little Boy to the dr. last night. He has had a low grade fever for a week and a horrible cough. He complained about his ears once or twice but then he stopped. When I picked him up from preschool yesterday, I realized that he just looked not well. He had sick eyes. When he was a baby, he was sick so often that I learned those eyes very well. We sat in the office for over 2 hours and the whole time we were there he played. He was acting totally fine. Without a care in the world. But when the doctor looked in his ears, she was amazed. Both of his ears are bright red and bulging and looked horribly painful. AND he has tonsillitis too. Poor kid. They put him on a heavy duty antibiotic and gave him tylenol with codeine for his horrible cough and to help him sleep. So I know that he has been so incredibly freakin' whiny because he doesn't feel well but it doesn't make it easier. And I found out tonight that Teenage Boy has a 35% in his English class. And we're only 3 weeks into the quarter. He's missing a TON of assignments but keeps telling me that he doesn't have homework.

Is it Saturday yet? I'm ready to be off duty.

Anyway...sorry I'm such a downer. Just kinda where I am right now, I guess. Best friend and I got a babysitter for all the kids on Friday night and we are going to go play pool before the husband's get home. 48 hours to go. That will be a nice break.

Happy Valentine's Day one and all!